Suicide can seem like such a rational choice…

…Last night, suicide felt like the only rational thing to do. I knew with some small part of my brain that this was wrong. Or at least, i knew I was SUPPOSED to think that. But none of me FELT it, you know?

When I am in that frame of mind, I feel like I’m watching someone else. It’s like I’m not in the driving seat. I wasn’t sure if I was gonna listen to that ‘sensible’ voice (which just seemed irrelevant) or go with what really SEEMED sensible. It was like walking along the edge of a cliff in a very strong wind and not being sure if it would be too strong at some point.