problem loading posts

60597) I met mia in ninth grade. Then, ana junior year. Now it’s senior year and I switch between the two. I’m picking out colleges for next year and basing them off my eating disorder. Which one has the best x? which one has the safest y? Which one has the easiest access to a z? The real question is, if i keep this up, will I even be alive for college next year?

pestilentbydesign:

I just wanted to reply to this “confession” because while the person’s struggle is valid, it seems like they have issues FAR beyond an eating disorder. And frankly, shit like this why so many people do not take eating disorders seriously. I mean, if I read this and had very little knowledge of EDs, I would think the whole thing was one big joke. Actually, if I had little knowledge, I would be wondering who the hell Mia and Ana are, why this person couldn’t be friends with both, and what the hell either of them had to do with eating disorders.

Maybe I’m a bit to critical, but I find it absurd that someone who developed and is struggling with anorexia and/or bulimia could come out and say, “I met Mia, and then I met Ana.” Last time I checked, you don’t MEET mental illnesses. How absurd would I sound if I said, “I met Anxiety about 20 years ago, but then I met Depression around 7th grade and now I go back and forth between the two.”

Eating disorders are SERIOUS mental illnesses, and reading about someone comparing “developing one” to “meeting a friend” is honestly disturbing. 

You have fucking AWESOME collar bones AND a thigh gap…

Let’s get fucking married…

Well, you know, if you’re not too busy with your nobel prize work and everything.

Looking at ‘recovery’ blogs usually makes me want to shoot myself.

Eating disorders are about control, but NOT about controlling people…

…they are an attempt to control crushing feelings of shame and self-disgust.

I hate it when people in recovery for eating disorders call others “ignorant” for not understanding them

thereoncewasaskinnygirl:

How much about eating disorders did you know before you got one?

Sure things like “just eat” or “gaining weight is easy” or “so do you think I’m fat too?” really peeve me when I hear them being said. But the truth is people really just don’t get it. They aren’t purposely trying to hurt you. 

“Just eat” seems like a very logical solution when the apparent problem is that you aren’t eating.

“Gaining weight is easy” is something most people hold true because a lot of people have problems with gaining undesired weight.

“So do you think I’m fat too?” is a common misconception because most people don’t understand that we see ourselves very differently from the way that we see others.

Do you know what it’s like to have any mental illness that you’ve never had? The answer is most definitely no. People make assumptions because of what they’ve seen in the media and what they hold to be true in their own lives. You can never show the eternal struggle someone with an eating disorder goes through in a movie or a documentary. And we’ve grown up our whole lives seeing celebrity after celebrity being “accused” of having an eating disorder just because they are thin.

So yes, some of the things people say are ignorant. But you can’t blame them for that. You can, however, set the straight so that maybe the next generation will be a little bit more educated than the last.

“S/he’s doing it for attention”…

OK

Maybe you’re right…

But if someone is prepared to damage their body/health e.g. by cutting, burning, starving, bingeing, purging, overdosing, whatever-the-fuck, then they NEED that attention.

Doing something for attention or as a “cry for help” is no less valid a reason than any other. This person is in no less need than any other.

So please,

shut the fuck up.

“Fat Is A Feeling”

togetherwer:

I remember arguing with my therapist in a session about that very simple phrase.  I was still hopelessly engrossed in my disorder at that time and would have sworn my soul to say that fat is definitely a feeling.  

Fast forward.

Today I went to get my hair cut.  I’m 23 months into recovery and very strong on my way to a happier life.  I found myself talking to the stylist about my past history with an ED.  She shared about her niece who battled bulimia.  Our conversation fell upon that very phrase that so long ago I lived and breathed.  But what I heard come out of my mouth was unprecedented and fucking awesome.  I said, “Fat is NOT a feeling, but rather it is EVERY feeling.  When you find yourself starving yourself (like in my case) you lose connection to all emotions.  Everything goes black and numb.  So what is fat you may ask?  Fat is hurt.  It’s sadness.  Anger. Frustration. Blah. Awkwardness. Jealousy. Tears. Pain.  Fat is the feeling of everything your distorted world blocks out.  It is the scapegoat, the fall-back.  But looking back now,” I said to the stylist, “I can see that is was simply the only word I knew to articulate the hell I was in.”

Some may read this and find themselves still stuck in the feeling of fatness. Others may connect the dots in their own stories.  But ultimately, fat is only three letters that cannot begin to articulate the misery of an mental illness.  Which is why I have found therapy to be more challenging than first anticipated.  Because each session calls me to use words I’m not used to, connect them with feelings, and express myself in ways other than food.

PAPER CHAIN PROJECT - For every day you go without self harming or purging, add a colourful link to the paper chain- If you relapse, just add a white link to to the chain and carry on the chain without any disruption- Over time the paper chain will grow in length and you can see your progress, and see that even if you do relapse, the are still days you go without hurting yourself. The colourful links.- Over time and through your recovery watch the amount of coloured links begin to increase, and the amount of white links begin to decrease.- If you feel like hurting yourself, look at the paper chain and realise just how far you’ve made it, and realise that if you’ve resisted before you can do it again :) Please reblog, this could help someone towards recovery. ❤

PAPER CHAIN PROJECT

- For every day you go without self harming or purging, add a colourful link to the paper chain
- If you relapse, just add a white link to to the chain and carry on the chain without any disruption
- Over time the paper chain will grow in length and you can see your progress, and see that even if you do relapse, the are still days you go without hurting yourself. The colourful links.
- Over time and through your recovery watch the amount of coloured links begin to increase, and the amount of white links begin to decrease.
- If you feel like hurting yourself, look at the paper chain and realise just how far you’ve made it, and realise that if you’ve resisted before you can do it again :)

  • Please reblog, this could help someone towards recovery. ❤

(via pleasesmilebeautiful)

stophatingyourbody: trigger warning: mentions of eating disorder hi! im Karlie, I’m fourteen years old and I’ll be 15 in eleven days :) the first time i probably started to feel bad about my “chub” was two years ago. i had a really obsessive crush on this boy since i was about 10, and two years ago at age 12 we were at a pool party. this boy who i really really liked flat out called me fat. it stirred inside of me for so long, making me angry and hurt and embarrassed. i wasn’t fat by any means- i simply had some extra stuff on my tummy. but it made me so upset. my older sister is now 22 and shes struggled with bulimia for seven long years, her problems have in fact tortured my entire family. i always secretly wanted to try and starve myself, i know that sounds odd but i thought it seemed so easy to just quit eating for a little while, lose that stubborn few lbs that always plagued me, and then go back to normal. but fortunately, with my knowledge from my sister, perhaps knowledge that was wise beyond my years, i decided not to start down such a dangerous path. so like any other teenager, i still get insecure. i have a bit of a muffin top and my thighs don’t have a gap separating them and my hip bones aren’t prominent. but that’s ok. I’m not going to ruin myself because i don’t look like a model. Sometimes it’s hard because my best friend ever is model skinny. She has a great thigh gap and an awesomely flat tummy and she’s very tall. It can be hard standing beside her at the beach, knowing she has the cruel society’s definition of a “perfect” body, and to the world I am not impressive. The thought also manages to work itself into my head every now and then about girls who are obviously skinnier and who refer to themselves as fat, I wonder, if they think THEY are fat, what could they possibly think of me? Because I don’t think I’m fat, but surely they do! But I cant let myself think that way, and neither can you. In the end I cant let myself care about old crushes or mean girls or stupid society. Comparison is the greatest thief of joy. Don’t mope because you don’t have a flat belly, rejoice because your alive and well and fed. Not to be cliche, but you really do ONLY live one time. Dont waste it crying about squishy thighs. In the end, I am ME. And that’s all I can offer. I cannot be Miranda Kerr, I cannot be a predictable “tumblr girl”, I cannot be my slim best friend, I can only be me. So I might as well be happy. :-) BE BRAVE! JOIN THE BODY PEACE REVOLUTION!

stophatingyourbody:

trigger warning: mentions of eating disorder

hi! im Karlie, I’m fourteen years old and I’ll be 15 in eleven days :)

the first time i probably started to feel bad about my “chub” was two years ago. i had a really obsessive crush on this boy since i was about 10, and two years ago at age 12 we were at a pool party. this boy who i really really liked flat out called me fat. it stirred inside of me for so long, making me angry and hurt and embarrassed. i wasn’t fat by any means- i simply had some extra stuff on my tummy. but it made me so upset. my older sister is now 22 and shes struggled with bulimia for seven long years, her problems have in fact tortured my entire family. i always secretly wanted to try and starve myself, i know that sounds odd but i thought it seemed so easy to just quit eating for a little while, lose that stubborn few lbs that always plagued me, and then go back to normal. but fortunately, with my knowledge from my sister, perhaps knowledge that was wise beyond my years, i decided not to start down such a dangerous path. so like any other teenager, i still get insecure. i have a bit of a muffin top and my thighs don’t have a gap separating them and my hip bones aren’t prominent. but that’s ok. I’m not going to ruin myself because i don’t look like a model. Sometimes it’s hard because my best friend ever is model skinny. She has a great thigh gap and an awesomely flat tummy and she’s very tall. It can be hard standing beside her at the beach, knowing she has the cruel society’s definition of a “perfect” body, and to the world I am not impressive. The thought also manages to work itself into my head every now and then about girls who are obviously skinnier and who refer to themselves as fat, I wonder, if they think THEY are fat, what could they possibly think of me? Because I don’t think I’m fat, but surely they do! But I cant let myself think that way, and neither can you. In the end I cant let myself care about old crushes or mean girls or stupid society. Comparison is the greatest thief of joy. Don’t mope because you don’t have a flat belly, rejoice because your alive and well and fed. Not to be cliche, but you really do ONLY live one time. Dont waste it crying about squishy thighs.

In the end, I am ME. And that’s all I can offer. I cannot be Miranda Kerr, I cannot be a predictable “tumblr girl”, I cannot be my slim best friend, I can only be me. So I might as well be happy. :-)

BE BRAVE! JOIN THE BODY PEACE REVOLUTION!

Sematics of recovery.

collapsedwavefunction:

change happens one day at a time.: It frankly pisses me off..

justbeingjess:

jonzie8:

When people say they’re “In recovery” from anorexia and they’re not even weight restored? Like..what the hell, isn’t that the first step. To be honest, either you’re just not in recovery or you have a pretty fucked up treatment team.

I don’t care..I may lose followers over being…

1. In recovery - aren’t you “in recovery” while weight restoring? 

2. If you feel so lucky, than why are you even bothering complaining about those who aren’t gaining weight…? I think you should focus on yourself. 

^^ This. I’m fairly sure that most of us could agree that “in recovery” basically means full recovery from the disorder is in progress, not completed. Whether or not someone has achieved the “first step” or the millionth (and I think one could argue that there is not a set of clear-cut steps that apply to everyone’s recovery), or even if someone is still working to get to that first step, that person is in recovery. I think it invalidates a person’s efforts to say that one can only be “in recovery” once a “healthy” weight has been reached.

Heck, even just focusing so much on the weight invalidates a person’s experience with an ED. How much someone needs to gain or not gain at all doesn’t paint the whole picture of how sick they are or how well they’re doing.

Now, for someone to say, “I have recovered from ED!” (note: past tense, recovery is complete) while still dangerously underweight, that could be a reason to be skeptical.

Um, I think ‘recovered’ means recovered. In recovery means in the process of recovery, i.e. recovering, i.e. not yet fully recovered but making steps toward it. So, no, being weight restored is not a pre-requisite for referring to yourself as ‘in recovery’.

And by the same token, being weight restored does not necessarily indicate that someone is in recovery. Anorexia is a mental illness with physical symptoms. Being recovered means getting rid of the thoughts AND being weight restored. But being in recovery is being on your way to that state and follows a different trajectory for everyone.