Unless you have suffered this level of fatigue, you don’t realise it is even possible to feel this bad from it. There are many many days when I wonder if I will ever be able to move again, and many times when I honestly wonder if I am going to die.
I often feel it would actually be a blessing if I did because it’s such an active kind of exhaustion. It’s not that bone tired floppy feeling you get when you’re regular exhausted. It’s not relieved by flopping in a chair or lying in bed for longer.
It actually feels like the energy is being dragged out of your body. Lying down or sleeping have no effect whatsoever. You feel like even when you are stationary and horizontal, you are expending as much energy as if you were running hard on a treadmill. You feel like screaming, “I NEED TO STOP!”, but you aren’t moving. You can’t stop. It just keeps dragging you down and down like someone is yanking the energy from your body with a violent force.
It sounds dramatic to people who have never felt this. But if you have, I know you will understand what I mean.
i need to go to bed but it’s too far away so i will just wait here until teleporting is invented
exhausted from yesterday
going back to bed
on the plus side i made stir
fry with olives in, which i can’ wait to try
I felt like i was gonna fall over.
This morning i am paying heavily. It took half an hour to move when i woke up. I felt paralysed.
But i am proud of myself for yesterday. It was the last new meal preparation and today is the first day my entire diet will be FODMAPS free.
It was really stressful yesterday worrying if i had mistakes in the calorie exchanges and whatnot but whatever. I’m actually too exhausted to even care any more, so i guess that works out pretty well, really.
i’m so worn out and i keep having the thought that death would be such a relief. i need to remind myself that it wouldn’t be because you can’t feel relief when you’re dead. You can’t feel anything. But that’s a hard concept and honestly it still feels like it would be a relief.
I don’t intend acting on it but idk i’ve just had enough and i’m so incredibly tired.
Just venting. Don’t worry.
It’s gone all weird and flaky all over my body like it’s got sunburn and is all coming off. I’ve been using really strong moisturiser but it makes no difference. Ugh i feel disgusting enough but this is a whole new level of gross :$
i have to cut up a load of food today from the supermarket delivery so i can freeze it, then i have to make two giant ‘stir fries’ to freeze (air quotes there because they’re not actually fried at all, just a bunch of stuff mixed together. Pseudo-stir-fry). Oh, god help me. I don’t even have the energy to get dressed.
Also, why does ‘stir fries’ look wrong as the plural of ‘stir fry’? ‘Stir frys’ looks way better.
I shall be a rebel and cook stir FRYS hahaHAAAAAAAA for I am Satan, lord of frying, may all lesser friars bow before me and be sautéed.
oh god, i need help….
People keep growing up, changing, moving away, moving on, leaving. I don’t like it and i wish they would stop. This kind of thing never happens to me. I am the one who stays still amd watches. I’m like a startled sloth on a highway.
but i am too sick to get there and i will have to wait till i feel a bit better :$
this is called irony
I am secretly convinced that my problems are way worse than anyone else’s.
Like bitch please, you call that pain? You have no idea of the depth of my suffering…
Me: LET’S ROCK THIS BABY!
My body: Hahaha not really. Just kidding.
I have just got up. I have done absolutely nothing at all but get out of bed, and yet
¤ my hip feels like someone ground it into its socket;
¤ my thumb feels like someone is wrenching it off in a vice;
¤ my shoulder feels like someone swung me around in the air by my arm.
In other news OWWWWWWWWW!!! WTAF, BODY?!?!?!