Radical Self-Acceptance. (recommended in a post by mentalmentalhealth!)
Should be good. Hope it cures me LOL
Things change NOW.
I spent the morning crying about how I have never enjoyed my life because it has always been overshadowed with shame.
Yet even knowing that I have wasted all that time, I can’t snap myself out of it.
But from now on, my priorityis to dismiss every unkind thought about myself as soon as I can.
I may not be able to love myself yet, but I can stop with the hate. I have to try. No one else is going to save what is left of my life. And that is what this boils down to: a fight to save my life before it’s all gone.
The book my mum bought me is good. I like it.
I don’t normally like self-help books because I feel like I’ve read everything they say so many times, I could scream, and it just seems like this endless list of what I need to do and think.
But this book doesn’t have a lot of exercises to do, it’s just one simple concept. I don’t know if it will work, but I am trying it.
What I am realising lately: I can’t improve how I look as long as I hate how I currently look. I can’t hate myself better.
Whatever I do to my appearance, as long as I hate myself, will never make it better. I have to do it back to front.
I have to find some way to love what I am right now. I mean all of it. Not tolerate, but actually love.
If I was anybody else, I could find a way to do that. Easily. Which actually says quite a lot.
It’s a weird paradox. And I’m noticing lately how much wisdom and the things that work best in life are pretty much aleays counter-intuitive. I guess that’s why they’re the things we struggle with and need the wisdom for. I guess that’s what wisdom is, really - coz the things that ARE intuitive, we just do them effortlessly and don’t need to think up wisdom to help us out.
- you’re allowed to contradict yourself
- you’re allowed to seek attention or approval
- you’re allowed to complain about something that’s bothering you
- you’re allowed to express negative opinions
- you’re allowed to be an ass sometimes
- you’re allowed to talk about yourself
- you’re allowed to fuck up